Author Caleb A. Mertz Gives Hope to the Invisible Via His Novel “With Thoughts of Jason”

When Secrets Become Survival

In With Thoughts of Jason, author Caleb A. Mertz delivers a powerful and haunting novel that lingers long after the final page. Set in a small, tight-lipped town where secrets can mean survival, the story follows Jason—a boy who learns the hard way what it means to be visible in a world that thrives on silence.

Jason never wanted to live in hiding. He dreamed of freedom, of being known for who he really is. But that dream shatters the moment his best friend outs him, leaving him exposed to the cruelty of small-town judgment. What follows is a raw, emotional journey through betrayal, identity, and the desperate search for safety.

Instead of retreating, Jason finds refuge in an unlikely group of friends—misfits who, like him, have been shaped by their own scars. There’s Tameera, fearless in her honesty; Abby, whose loyalty burns bright; and Danny, magnetic and dangerous in equal measure. Together, they create a fragile sanctuary. Their laughter fills smoky rooms, their nights are stitched together by music, and for a brief moment, Jason feels like he belongs.

But peace never lasts in a place built on secrets. When Jason uncovers a truth his tormentor is desperate to keep buried, he faces a choice that could cost him everything. Caleb invites readers to step inside it, to understand what it means to fight for visibility in a world that demands silence.

The Weight of Being Seen

Caleb writes with sensitivity and precision, capturing the raw ache of adolescence. Jason’s story is about the universal longing to be accepted, to be loved without conditions. The book feels deeply personal, yet its themes reach far beyond one boy’s story.

The emotional intensity brings to mind works like Swimming in the Dark by Tomasz Jedrowski and We Are the Ants by Shaun David Hutchinson. Still, With Thoughts of Jason stands apart for its unfiltered honesty and its refusal to romanticize pain. Caleb lets readers sit with discomfort, allowing the small moments of connection—shared laughter, a touch, a word—to shine all the brighter.

Each relationship Jason forms adds depth to his transformation. Tameera challenges him to stop apologizing for existing. Abby reminds him that loyalty can be a kind of love. Danny embodies the dangerous thrill of desire—how it can both heal and destroy. Through these characters, Caleb paints a vivid portrait of found family, of people bound not by blood but by shared survival.

The novel explores visibility as both weapon and gift. Jason’s struggle to be seen mirrors the battles faced by so many who exist outside society’s narrow expectations. The story acknowledges fear and pain, but it also celebrates courage in the quietest forms.

From Restaurant Floors to Literary Heights

Caleb’s path to becoming a novelist is as inspiring as the worlds he creates. A native of Pennsylvania, he once managed restaurants like Red Robin and Emeril Lagasse’s Chop House. Life in the service industry sharpened his understanding of human behavior—the fleeting smiles, the weariness, the unspoken dreams people carry into their daily lives. Those observations became the heartbeat of his fiction.

Eventually, Caleb traded restaurant floors for university halls. Now a PhD candidate in comparative literature at the University of California, San Diego, he studies the power of stories and their ability to shape understanding. His decision to return to school came from a simple desire: to write better, to give his characters the authenticity they deserved.

His love for storytelling began early. In second grade, he wrote a short book about an evil elf who tried to sabotage Christmas. That early project, complete with cereal box covers and wrapping paper binding, sparked a lifelong fascination with creating worlds from imagination.

Caleb’s influences include Ernest Hemingway, James Baldwin, Walt Whitman, and David Baldacci—writers known for clarity, moral force, and emotional truth. You can feel their echoes in his work, but his own voice stands out. He writes with empathy and urgency, focusing on the emotional heartbeat of every scene.

Finding Hope in the Wreckage

At its core, With Thoughts of Jason is about the resilience of the human spirit. It’s about finding hope where there should be none and building family out of fragments. Caleb promises honesty. Through Jason’s journey, readers come to understand that pain and love often share the same space, and that truth, though dangerous, is always worth the risk.

In this story, Every word feels intentional, every emotion earned. Readers who loved Call Me by Your Name or The Perks of Being a Wallflower will find the same emotional depth here, along with a voice that feels fresh and fearless.

Caleb reminds us that being true to yourself can feel like walking through fire, but it’s the only way to find peace. With Thoughts of Jason is an experience, one that leaves readers changed, reflective, and maybe a little more compassionate than before.